


The Regret of Dating a Weasley

by motherofmercury



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Bakery, Boys In Love, Humour, M/M, Nakedness, Rarepair, Swearing, baker hugo, bloody weasleys, magical dry cleaner, maybe a little exhibitionism, ministry worker lorcan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25040653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofmercury/pseuds/motherofmercury
Summary: Hugo is having an announcement of new items he'll be selling in his bakery and Lorcan is hard pressed to get his boyfriend ready on time.  A little unexpected nakedness ensues.
Relationships: Lorcan Scamander/Hugo Weasley
Comments: 21
Kudos: 19
Collections: Hermione's Nook Naked Weasley Fest!





	The Regret of Dating a Weasley

**Author's Note:**

> Eternal thanks to Andithiel for the super speedy beta <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this very rare pair!

Lorcan unfolded his arms to look at his watch, barely noticing the tapping of his shoe while he waited. This truly was the worst place in Diagon Alley to get his and Hugo’s robes pressed. He was supposed to meet Hugo at his bakery almost seven minutes ago, and Lorcan truly hated being tardy. Anything less than perfectly on time was just plain rude, in his opinion. Dating a Weasley had certainly challenged Lorcan’s precise sense of timing, almost as much as growing up with Luna Lovegood Scamander as his mother and Lysander as his brother. Lorcan loved Lysander dearly, and of course his mother too, but living under the same roof as them had certainly presented rather a lot of difficulties growing up. Especially when it came to making it to King’s Cross on time each year. 

Lorcan once again thanked all the gods that he and Lysander were done with Hogwarts, and had been for nigh on four years now. Lysander was off on some adventure looking for a rare dunderpottocat; Hugo had opened a bakery in Diagon Alley (the finest ever seen there, according to  _ The Prophet _ ); and Lorcan was working his way up the ranks of the Ministry department for the Care And Maintenance of Elusive Liabilities. C.A.M.E.L. for short. It was a strange department, sure; they dealt with everything from missing paperwork on certain dragon tamers to leaky toilets in the Ministry business entrance. But Lorcan enjoyed it, and was good at the various oddities required, and that was what mattered. He didn’t care if Hugo found his job to be an endless source of amusement. Being a baker was just as silly, in Lorcan’s opinion. At least Lorcan could say he worked for the Ministry.

There was a ding and the pair of neatly matched robes floated out of the back room and into Lorcan’s waiting hands. “Finally,” he muttered under his breath. He’d prepaid, but he certainly was  _ not _ going to use this place again. 

They needed the robes for the official announcement party for the new pastries Hugo was adding to those already available at his bakery. He’d never admit it in public, but Lorcan was incredibly proud of Hugo for starting the bakery from scratch two years ago and doing so extraordinarily well ever since. There had been a near fiendfyre disaster early on – before Hugo had got insurance – from the apothecary next door doing a little too much incautious dabbling, but they had succeeded in averting the disaster. Besides, the notoriety of being next to that sketchy apothecary had certainly boosted the number of customers through the bakery’s doors.

Lorcan levitated the robes ahead of himself down the street, the door to Hugo’s bakery opening automatically as he approached. It was a nice bit of magic; made the bakery seem more welcoming, and like it knew you were craving a pastry. And naturally, everyone is always craving a pastry, whether they’ve realised it or not.

The little bell above the door tinkled as Lorcan walked in, causing Hugo to look up from behind the counter. His face lit up happily when he saw Lorcan. Lorcan could tell Hugo was trying to rush his current customer out and he frowned at the unprofessionalism. Nevertheless, he smiled at Hugo – although the little creases never left the space between his eyes – and made his way behind the counter with the robes. He made his way into the little backroom behind the actual bakery and levitated the robes onto the small clothing rack he always insisted Hugo keep there,  _ just in case. _ Lorcan scowled at the empty rack, annoyed that Hugo only owned one pair of dress robes. It made no sense! There were so many functions he had to go to as a business owner on Diagon Alley. If Hugo didn’t buy himself another pair, Lorcan would do it himself. 

“Bloody Weasley,” he mumbled under his breath, hanging the matched robes on the rack.

With that done, he made his way back into the main bakery, pushing through the door into the space behind the counter only to be confronted with two startlingly pale arse cheeks. Lorcan stopped in his tracks, momentarily frozen by the fascinating dusting of freckles that trailed their way down Hugo’s left buttock. He quickly came to his senses as he took in the iniquitous scene before him.

Hugo Weasley stood, as usual, behind the counter, gaily serving a customer in a manner thoroughly unbefitting a man who was not wearing a single item of clothing on his lower half. 

Lorcan swallowed, valiantly ignoring his twitching cock. Now was certainly  _ not _ the time to be exploring the apparent lack of exhibitionism in their sex life. He marched up behind Hugo, grabbed him by the arm, and yanked him through the door into the back room. 

“Merlin’s  _ saggy _ tits, Weasley! What the  _ fuck?! _ ” Lorcan hissed furiously as the door closed behind them. He had to ferociously ignore the fact that Hugo’s cock was fully out (and  _ definitely _ getting hard, he might add) as Lorcan pulled him further into the room. Lorcan whipped out his wand and frantically conjured a pair of trousers, shoving them at Hugo. 

Hugo took the trousers but made no effort to put them on. 

Lorcan gave him a hard look. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, you sick bastard?”

Hugo threw a pointed look in the vicinity of Lorcan’s own cock. “You are too.” His voice was low and sultry.

“Fine! Maybe I want to try a little exhibitionism occasionally! Is that too much to ask?! But now is not the time! You have a big announcement in less than half an hour and  _ you aren’t wearing any pants!” _

Hugo snorted, clearly in good humour despite the bizarre situation. “It’s hardly my fault, you know.”

“Oh! Well then, all is forgiven, of course it’s not your fault,” Lorcan drawled, baring his teeth a little. “HUGO WEASLEY, YOU PUT THOSE CIRCE FUCKING, MERLIN SUCKING PANTS ON!”

“Can’t.” Hugo shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly, eternally calm in the face of Lorcan’s rage.

“And why ever not?!”

Hugo lifted an arm, letting a little nervousness slip through his calm façade as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… Jamie came by, you see, and he gave me some new toffees to try-”

“You mean,” Lorcan’s voice was low and he punctuated every few words with a menacing stab of his finger at Hugo’s chest, “to tell. Me.”  _ Stab, stab _ . “That you  _ accepted sweets _ from  _ James Sirius Potter _ . ON THE DAY OF YOUR ANNOUNCEMENT?! I cannot believe you, Weasley! You are a moron of the highest order!”

“Oi,” Hugo frowned, finally getting a little defensive. “You know I can never resist sweets! For Merlin’s sake, Lorcan, I bake pastries for a living!”

“But Hugo,” Lorcan groaned, anger crumbling into despair. “You could’ve at least waited until after! You are telling me that Potter’s toffees  _ vanished _ your trousers  _ and _ underwear— ”

Hugo made a small noise and Lorcan’s eyebrows shot up.

“You weren’t even wearing underwear. Merlin. Okay. God, Weasley, you sure know how to turn a man on, but this is not the moment. How long will anything you put on your lower half disappear for?”

Hugo shrugged, uncertainty stealing across his face. “In Jamie’s defence, I do think he’s trying to get the toffees to vanish the clothing on the upper half.”

“It hardly matters! That’s still violating. I have half a mind to hunt him down and hex some sense into him! I thought Lupin would’ve tamed him some, but apparently I was horribly wrong!”

“It’s okay, Lorcan,” Hugo put a large hand on Lorcan’s shoulder, pulling him into his chest. “You’re brilliant, you’ll think of something.”

“Mmmphf.” Lorcan grunted against Hugo’s chest. He pulled back slightly, looking into Hugo’s face. “What about robes? Can you wear robes? They’re technically made for your top half, right? But they would hide this— ” here he gestured at Hugo’s still rather bare cock, “Situation.”

Hugo snorted. “Situation? It’s only a little nakedness.”

“A little nakedness is extremely inappropriate in a professional setting, Weasley.” He pulled out of Hugo’s arms, stalking over to the rack where he’d hung the robes. “Here, put these on.”

Hugo accepted the robes and pulled them over his shoulders, letting the folds fall around his bare legs. 

“Potter better watch his back,” Lorcan muttered as he pulled on his own robes. “I’m coming for him.”

Hugo let out a low chuckle and pulled Lorcan in for a kiss. “He won’t know what hit him.”


End file.
